A Snow Day. A Perfect Day.

Sometimes you just need a snow day.

Today the South got a cold hit of supreme coldness and SNOW!

Everything closed down, the roads were empty and Alabama transformed into a state of emergency.

I woke up thinking it would be another cold day in Alabama, spent my morning watching and supporting my hubby as he was sworn in to do another 6 years in the Air Force. I stood by, a proud wife, in awe of how much he has accomplished. I am proud of how much this man, whom I met at age 19, has grown; a strong, smart, handsome individual. I am proud of the both of us, I am proud of myself for still having goals and dreams to accomplish. My husband is in the Air Force, but I will never claim or take credit for his accomplishments. I have my own legacy, and I am dignified in that statement.  I could not be more proud of him. I am not exaggerating when I say, he is truly the most perfect man. He has no flaws, trust me, I've tried to think of some, but he really has not faults whatsoever. I am truly lucky.

After the ceremony, I scurried back to work, thinking I'd spend the rest of the day working. Soon family members were calling, worried, asking why I was working because the SNOW was coming! We rarely get snow here in Alabama, so everyone gets crazy! Not long after, I decided to just head home and be with my LOVES, the weather called for some family coziness. Today was memorable, filled with nap time, food, a movie with Autumn and some well spent time in the snow. I think we now know the true experience of what a snow day consists of, and I only hope we have more in the future.

A Trip to the Library & Weekend Sweetness.

Ever since I was a little girl, I've always had a LOVE for books. As a child, I must have read almost every book in the library. Book fairs and the scholastic catalogs were something I looked forward to as a child. There was something about getting involved and lost in a different world, or maybe it was how my imagination would grow. Today Autumn and I took a trip to the library. Our house has been chaotic, full of boxes and packing this weekend. It was nice to get away from all of that for an hour or so. When we walked into the library, Autumn's reaction was priceless. She kept saying "WOW."I wanted to remember that very moment, I wanted to, for a minute, stop time and hold on to it for as long as I could. She is getting older and at times I feel like I am not strong enough to adjust. As we prep for our move, which is within the next 3 weeks, there are a lot of her baby items I am sorting through. I had to let go of her crib set this weekend. I remember Re and I building that set in her room, getting ready for her arrival, before ever setting eyes or holding her. Along with getting older, growing taller, her hair is only getting bigger, and her vocabulary consists of a lot of "no's." In the midst of all of that, moments like going to the library are what I live for.

I said to Re today; she is the best thing I've ever done. My biggest accomplishment. And of course, as a man and husband, he replies: What about me? Jokingly, I tell him he is a medal I've earned, or maybe a certificate. Then he continues to tell me; "a medal of honor, the highest medal there is, because you should be honored to have a husband like me." I roll my eyes and say, "okay babe." But he is right. I am extremely lucky and blessed.

Weekends are my favorite. I look forward to sleeping in. I look forward to not having to interrupt the tiny little body sleeping next to me, because she has a routine of coming in at the middle of the night. I don't mind, because I know one day she will stop. So I welcome her every night. I miss the nights of her and I, waking up in the wee hours to breastfeed, Re would be asleep and the world was quiet, we would be up, just her and I. I am hoping this move to Illinois will allow more me time until I adjust and start job searching, I am hoping I have more time to contribute to my blog instead of only on the weekends. Its still coming along, and still always a work in progress. Here are a few photos from the weekend:

Our Weekend.

A Father's Love.

One of the most important relationships a girl will ever have is the relationship with her father. Yesterday as the three of us were cuddled on the couch, I noticed a saddened expression on my husbands face, I asked him “What’s wrong babe?” His reply,” I just finished looking through old photos and videos of Autumn.” He made a trip down memory lane; photos of when she roamed and crawled throughout the house, videos of a premature wobbly walk. I could tell he was mournful on how fast and rapid our little girl is growing. So we continued our cuddle, Autumn in the middle, us on each side. We squeezed and tickled; the sound of her laughter was pure bliss. There was a lot of kisses, so much laughter, love and I couldn’t help but savor this beautiful moment, just the three of us.

The love they share is amazing, something I never got to experience as a little girl. My relationship with my biological father has been non-existent since I was 10 years old. I do remember and cherish the few memories I had with him, I can’t deny or forget those memories, not even if I wanted to.

 My mother met my dad when I was ten years old, I don’t like the word stepdad, so when I describe my dad, he is by true definition, my dad. He adopted all of my siblings at the age of 24, something not a lot of people would do. He raised us; he did everything a dad was supposed to do. I am who I am today because of my dad.  To be honest, I have no idea who or where I would be in life if he wasn’t my dad. He was there to coach me before basketball tryouts, edit and review my essays, when I graduated high school and college, every birthday and holiday. He survived my delinquent teenage years, in which he states I wasn’t a bad kid, guess I had my parents fooled (kidding!). Overall, the timeline and importance of our relationship reflects the person I am today.  I love him greatly and appreciate his position as a father.

Something inside of me triggers when I see Autumn and Re interact. In some ways, she is so much like him, and I love it.  As she gets older, I look forward to the relationship she will build with the both of us. I look forward to seeing what characteristics she will inherit. As a mom, all I ever want is for my little one to know how loved and safe she is, and there is nothing like a father's love to reassure that. 

Relocation Anxiety.

“Everything will be okay, everything will fall into place.”

A statement I’m becoming familiar with as time is swiftly approaching for our move to Illinois. So much to do in such a short amount of time. Today has been one of those days, I’m not sure if it’s the melancholic weather,  the fact that I am really in no mood to work today, or just the aftermath from a difficult yesterday. Whatever is going on, I feel the need to readjust and figure things out. The idea of a private and releasing cry sounds ideal, or maybe a long therapeutic run will do the trick.  

Next month we will be moving to Illinois and we have yet to start packing. That statement scares me. I hope to start this weekend. My mind has been contemplating the idea of resigning earlier than expected. The thought of being alone at home with sorting, organizing and packing almost sounds perfect to me, but the idea of continuing to contribute monetarily is also important as well. One of the difficult aspects of being a wife to a military member is the constant change; pursuing a stable career may sometimes feel impossible. As we relocate, I have to start over, begin a new search for a new job. I understand it comes with the territory and as a spouse, I have to adjust.  Sounds easier said than done if you ask me, especially coming from a driven, hardworking, intelligent woman such as myself. I’ve worked hard for my education and experiences, and I will continue to do so. My geographic location may rely on my husband, but my dreams, ambitions, goals rely heavily on me. So as time approaches for our move, I keep telling myself, “Everything will be okay, everything will fall into place.”

I started this blog in hopes of sorting out whatever doubts or questions I am currently having. Is money over peace of mind more important? Should I resign 2 weeks earlier than expected or work up until the day we leave? It is Friday, so my plan is to go home and do all the necessary things to put my mind at ease, and hopefully the answer to my questions will arise this weekend.

Happy Birthday My Dear Brother, Brian.

Happy Birthday my dear brother. Every year on January 9th, we are not only reminded of the day you came into this world, but also a reminder of your life; your laughter, your sense of humor, your guidance and influence as an older brother.

My brother Brian left this world at a young age. Coming from a large family, there will always be that missing piece, which is him. Christmas, birthdays, vacations, every moment spent together will never be the same. Each year on his birthday, we always celebrate in his honor, ofcourse there are tears, but I try to view this day as a celebration of his life, and the moments we all had together as a family.

Every year I tell my mom to be strong because I know this day is hard for her. Brian was her first born. I cannot imagine what she goes through, the hardship that comes with this day. As a mom, I cannot even begin to relate or imagine that feeling, and I would never want to; Autumn is my everything. Every year I contemplate the "I wishes." Everything from, I wish he was here. I wish Autumn could have met him, he would adore her. I wish my husband met Brian, I think he would be proud of me. I wish things were different. I wish he could see how amazing his kids are. I wish he could give my mom a long, loving, warm, hug, because she needs it. Because more than anything I know that is what she would want.

As a family, I don't think the hurt or pain will ever go away. I don't think the pain decreases as the years go by, because I can still feel it, fresh. The tears are different, they are endless and the pain is excrutiating in my chest, as if I can't breath. In the end, I'd have it no other way, because that feeling reminds me that I have not and nor will I ever let him go. I am still the little sister Chimmey, still in need of my older brother. There will always be memories, and the creation of new memories in honor of him, Brian.

My family celebrated in Colorado with a balloon and superman celebration.

Happy 2014!

There is a feeling in the air, a sense of optimistic thoughts and pure hope. The beginning of the year holds future possibilities and a chance for a clean slate. Each year my mind gears itself into planning mode and I begin the anticipation of accomplished goals and hopeful travels. I am not too serious on New Year’s resolutions, but rather believe in accomplishments throughout the year and striving for beneficial self-modifications when the feeling arises. We all have areas that could use some improvements. In regards to my improvements, I hope to read more this year. I find books interesting and therapeutic. There is something about getting lost in an imaginary world, and there is that feeling you get when you finish a really good book, it is as if you have returned, and something inside of you has altered.

Traveling; I love that word. Each year it is a MUST for us to travel. For the past 9 years we have traveled stateside. I hope this year will be different and we can officially mark our first international trip as a couple, or family. Traveling is a huge part of who I am. I’ve been everywhere from Paris, to England, Canada, New York, Switzerland and Austria, to name a few.  I am grateful for the places I’ve been and sometimes wonder how lucky I am. I’ve been in the house where Ann Frank was in hiding. I’ve walked the halls of where Mozart lived as a child. I never take for granted all of the opportunities I’ve endured. I never forget where I came from or how far I’ve come, or better yet, how much I still have left. Life is amazing. Life is precious. It is our duty as human beings to thrive and prosper in all opportunities.

What are your resolutions? What do plan to improve or conquer this year? Whatever it is, I do hope you do with it with love, happiness and patience. Happy New Year! Here is to a successful and optimistic 2014!!

May Your 2014 be filled with Love, Laughter & Happiness!!