Monday, July 14, 2014

Baby Fever.


The topic of another baby has been extremely popular lately. Between sentimental commercials, mom-to-be passerby's and what seems like Autumn's speedy growth, I am contemplating the question of baby number two. Since Autumn was born, I have been comfortable with the idea of just the three of us. When I pictured the future, it always just seemed perfect with just us three. Lately, that idea has changed and I am starting to wonder if we should add another Jackson addition. One of the main aspects of my change of heart has been Autumn, she's getting older and her playtime has become more independent. She wanders off alone to her room in a world of imagination and pretend play. She has a baby doll she puts to sleep, dresses and puts in the occasional time-out. When she plays with my younger sister, she is happy, lost in sisterly companionship and guidance, its as if Re and I don't exist. I think she would be an amazing older sister, and it would be something I would love to see. Another factor is my feeling of being needed, sounds weird, but I miss that feeling of Autumn needing me 24/7. Now, I can barely get a cuddle for more than 5 seconds before she's off running or dancing. I know she will always need me, but now I am starting to feel the difference. The baby softness in her skin is still there, but her body is only getting bigger. My baby who used to fit so perfectly under my arm is now half my size, including hair (lol!).

Along with the beneficial reasons of another addition, there are just as many cons, if not more. Having a child should not be taken lightly, a vital decision like this affects the family as a whole, not only presently, but most importantly, the future. There are important aspects of our lifestyle that I don't want to give up. Travel, we love traveling. We want to travel the world. We want to see and conquer different countries, different cultures. I think adding another addition would probably limit that, or perhaps cause a delay in our travel plans, but then again, maybe it won't. 

My sanity. I am somewhat joking when I say that. I know adding another little one will of course be extremely tiresome and what I feel as "tired" now, will only multiply. 

The financial aspects are extremely important. I am a planner, I like to be prepared, especially for the future, for retirement and Autumn's educational future. When I make decisions, I make them based on our future. I think very highly of my daughter, I want to give her the best, and I want her to be able to have choices. I don't want to rely on the government or scholarships for her education, I want to be prepared. I want her to wander the world, seek out opportunities and be able to have that privilege to do so. I never want her to be limited. Having another child, I would want the same for both, but is that realistic? Maybe it is, and maybe it isn't. Financially, as parents, I think its important for both of us to contribute. Although there are a few things I would do differently the second time around, in the end, babies are expensive. But what is money against the creation of a beautiful new life, no contest. 

The prenatal journey is not an issue, its actually something I would look forward to. With Autumn, besides the first 2 or 3 months of sickness, I enjoyed every moment. I loved my belly, I loved my pregnant body, I loved breastfeeding, I loved spending the first 2 years at home with Autumn.

Overall, I think the future is a huge factor, a lot of uncertainty. I think every mother goes through this phase in the decision of adding another baby. I think overall I like the idea of a new addition, but I don't think it is something I truly want. Only time will tell, who knows, my mind may change a few times or more. I am still young, I still have a few goals to accomplish, now is the time to be selfish, achieve my goals and then I can make this life altering decision. Maybe I just need to tell myself to slow down, enjoy life, enjoy love, enjoy Autumn. I am just truly thankful I have options, and as a woman, I have choices, and that is amazing. 

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Summer, Beaches, and Traditions.


This summer heat has me longing for days spent at the beach. 
My very first trip to the beach was with Re; fresh out of high school, summer love and travel. We made frequent trips to the beach every summer, and continued to do so when Autumn was born. Only a few months old, she had her tiny feet dipped in the waters of the Gulf of Mexico. Now that we live in Illinois, the beach is no longer a few hours away.

Our summer tradition has turned into hot southern nights in Tennesee/Kentucky, gazing at the fireflies, summer family BBQ's and day trips to St. Louis. What are some of your favorite summer traditions? On behalf of our desire for sun, water and sand, I am sharing a few of our past beach moments. Memories take me away…...




Sunday, July 6, 2014

The First Five Years of Marriage, Happy Anniversary!


Anniversaries mark a special occasion, a moment that will always be remembered. Five years ago, Re and I became husband and wife. It took a long time, and a lot of pondering before I knew he was "the one." We dated for 5 years before tying the knot, and now that I look back at everything, each event in those five years led us to right where we were meant to be. Our journey had its ups and downs, we cried, we laughed, we fought, those first five years of dating were truly amazing and extremely challenging at the same time. Fresh from graduating college and returning from my internship in Washington DC, I had endless opportunities waiting for me. Re was in the opposite state and my scholastic success left him feeling like I'd leave him behind. He joined the Air Force while I was in DC, and within a few months of my return, I had to say goodbye as he headed to Basic Training in Texas. In the midst of trying to figure out what my next move would be, I missed him. I went from being unsure about our relationship, to absolutely missing him so much it hurt. I never knew how important he was in my life until he was gone. For three months, letter after letter, and maybe two very short phone calls, I missed him every day, and now I was the one who became fearful he was going to leave me behind. I began my first year of graduate school, started a new job, and enjoyed being closer to family, but all I could think about was him. Success, accomplishments, everyday moments weren't the same without him by my side. That was when I knew I wanted to marry him. It took five years before I knew he was the one.

Today, as we celebrated this momentous day, we reminisced on our past and reflected back on that beautiful day. Sitting across from my handsome hubby during our anniversary lunch at Chipotle (the perfect place for me, still simple). I asked him, what do you remember most about that day? He brought up the incident about my wedding dress. That morning I noticed a small wrinkle, and decided to iron it out. I burned my dress, lace shriveled in a matter of seconds and it was ruined. I freaked out for a moment and spent the morning in tears. We spent the next few hours rushing to different stores trying to find a replacement. I never wanted a big wedding, I didn't even want an expensive ring, I just wanted him. I wanted simplicity, I just wanted the love. I remember a weekend of the beach, fireworks, a weekend from military rules, just me and him.

Marriage has been different from dating, overall, effortlessly easy. He said to me today, "these first five years have been the best years of my life." I absolutely agree. Rarely do we have alone time for anything, so it was refreshing to have lunch alone and watch a movie. I appreciate moments like this, reminds me of the beginning. He still always opens doors for me, still holds my hand so tight, and his kisses are just as quenching. 

I am looking forward to years and years of happiness, love, support, and laughter. I'd like to think our first five years have been a true success.

Friday, July 4, 2014

Happy Independence Day!

Fourth of July; a day of remembrance, a day to celebrate, a day for family, fun, and food. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in work and daily schedules, it is refreshing to have a day of family bonding and the creation of new memories. The little one had just enough energy to be mesmerized by the fireworks. Always a little fearful, but the gleam is always in her eyes. As soon as we arrived back at my parents house, she immediately fell asleep. The celebratory of today proved to be too much for her. Overall, what an amazing day! Since work started in May, I have been extremely busy and lacking effort in thoughts and words in the blog. Life has been great!....busy, but oh so great!
 Happy Fourth of July from our family to yours!