Everyday people do
Everyday things but I
Can't be one of them...
We are a different kind
We can do anything
We could be heroes.
I feel like I’ve been waiting, anxiously anticipating the
construction of this blog entry for some time now. I really had no idea what I
would be writing. I didn't know what the outcome would be, except that a chapter in my life has been completed.
I graduated this week; I earned my Master’s degree in
Business Administration. I can officially say that now. Goodbye to uncertainty,
hope and keeping my fingers tightly crossed.
This has been a long journey, definitely not easy, and one
of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I can fully say I EARNED this achievement. I put
my everything, my all, into this. How I’ve described this journey; my blood, sweat
and tears went into this, pretty much sums up what I’ve been going through
these past few years, especially this year. This has been an up and down
battle, at times it seemed impossible. I could not have finished without the
support from my parents, family and the most important person, my husband. My
husband, the person who made things so much easier for me, who made me laugh
when I needed it, who believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself, especially when I
didn’t believe it could happen.
I believe this has been my dream since I was in high school;
I wanted a Master’s degree. Specifically by the age of 25 was my originally
goal, but life happened, and as I got older, I started to see things do not
always go as planned or how we expect them to go. From the beginning, I wanted
to set an example for my family. I wanted to be the first in my entire family
to earn a prestigious accomplishment, and I did. One of the most important
aspects I’ve kept along the way was my foundation; I grew up from a small town;
I’ve come a long way from a scrappy Rez kid. I am thankful for where and how I
grew up, my background, and my culture.
In the beginning I started strong, ready to knock this
accomplishment off my list. Soon, life happened and school became lost in my core priorities;
wife and mother duties. I became pregnant with Autumn the same year I started
graduate school. I think one of the hardest parts of this journey was juggling
school with my full-time duties as a wife, mommy, and employee. How could I
fully devote myself to each and every one of these priorities? I couldn’t. I
often neglected my roles and priorities for school. I cried often because I felt
that I wasn’t a good mom or an attentive wife. Work took up majority of my life
during the day, and evening hours were spent between Autumn and Re, mostly
Autumn until it was bed time. I savored every moment with her, from crafts and
projects to reading, to Lego building, I dreaded putting her to sleep because
soon after I missed her so much. I dreaded those moments when I would say: "Baby, Mommy has to do homework." My nights were spent red-eyed, in a book,
longing to be someone who could have the chance to sleep before 9:00 pm.
Sometimes I wondered why I put myself through it.
Why?
There are many reasons why I put myself through it. When I
had this vision, this mission, this goal, it was only me. A young girl with a
goal. The only thing that has remained constant, the only thing that has been
just for me, is this goal. I put so much of myself to my family; this goal has
kept the importance of individuality for me. I wanted more for myself, for my
family. I never wanted someone else’s success when I could achieve something
for myself. Failure was never an option for me, I was willing to accept the sacrifices. I’m not a person to waste time, I always
feel like I could be doing something, which is why I always have a goal,
something to work towards. If I have my mind set on something I want to do, I
will do it. It’s so easy to say “I am going to do this,” but to actually follow
through is the real challenge. We only live once, why not make it the best
life, why not achieve something or leave a lasting legacy or imprint. Why not
make life more valuable?
As this chapter closes, where do I go from here? I’ve been
in school my whole life. I love learning, I love reading. I feel a sense of
relief but in constant shock as I realize, what am I going to do with my time?
I have time to watch TV, which I rarely did. I have time to read books I’ve
been wanting to read instead of reading a textbook, as I often felt the guilt
of reading something other than school books because I felt that was more
important. I have time for running! Overall, my time and possibilities are
endless; a strange feeling but more so liberating. There are countless
opportunities waiting; a pay raise and perhaps more traveling. I cannot wait to
see what the future has in store. I've accomplished so much before age 30, and I am really proud of myself. Eventually I will continue my education
again, a Doctorate, but for now, I can relax, I can breathe. I’ve even started
a new goal, to complete a Marathon before my 30th birthday, which I
am excited to get started on. I am happy, blissful, over the moon, and very much happy.
I feel FREE. I am free!
Thank you to everyone; family, friends, co-workers, teachers and my fellow classmates. Everyone who contributed guidance, support and words of encouragement. I am thankful and grateful to have amazing people in my life.
