What Would You Tell Your Younger Self?

Do you ever find yourself wondering, “what if?” I don’t necessarily like to dwell on What could have been, but yesterday Re and I were having a conversation that sparked an interesting circle of the past. Earlier in the day as I was meeting Re for lunch, the radio playing old school tunes in the background and Jennifer Lopez’s first single came on;  If you had my love, which made me think of her single “Waiting for Tonight,” which then sent my mind on a time machine back to my freshman year of high school. My mind seems to do that sometimes, trickle down from one topic to another. So excuse me if this post  is everywhere. So anyway, I continued to tell him about my life status during the time of “Waiting for Tonight,” and how that song defined a certain part of my life. Have you ever heard a song and as a result, memories, past feelings, emotions, people; anything and everything you can think of was held within 3 or 4 minutes of that one song? Waiting for tonight came out right before the whole Y2K craziness; I was planning my New Year Plans for 2000, which consisted of designing a perfect night of Chinese food with friends, a Phillipino gentleman, a hot red dress, and dancing the night away in the cobblestone streets of Wiesbaden, Germany. Now that I look back, was that really ideal for a 15 year old girl? Ha! Probably not, but it seemed perfect for me at the time. I had a lot of independence in Germany (thank you parents), which created a lot of momentous and unforgettable memories. My plans were demolished by my parents who thought all chaos would break out and insisted I spend the New Year with them and a bunch of grownups. I ended up watching TRL the whole night and falling asleep. So as I babbled on to my husband about my New Years story and how young, carefree, and wild I used to be as a teenager, I thought to myself that if I could tell my younger self something, I would speak to Adrienne at age 17, first real boyfriend, Junior and Senior year. This is what I would have told her:

“Yes you feel like you are in love, and yes it feels amazing and what not, but don’t be so serious. Live life and appreciate having friends. Go out, enjoy Germany at this age. Don't spend every minute, second, hour of the day in a trance over this guy. HAVE FUN! This guy isn’t worth not going to Italy with your family, he’s not worth quitting the basketball team, or your friends, or you not doing so well in school at the time. Needless to say, I was wrapped up and whipped.” Oh Adrienne.

And then I would shake her and say: WAKE UP!!

As I was telling my husband this, he popped my moment of reminiscence only to tell me he would destroy my time machine, because that change and shift would have maybe caused us to not meet. He said without me he would probably still be in Daleville. He described a whole story of what his life would be like, which wasn’t good according to him, but still humorous. We laughed uncontrollably about the “what ifs” and “where would we be right now had we not met?” A great conversation I am still laughing about a day after.

I am 28 years old now. I have traveled to amazing places, met some inspiring and influential people, created memories from heartbreaking to fulfilling and I would not change one moment. I am right where I am supposed to be; with my Autumn and my Re.