Baby Fever.

The topic of another baby has been extremely popular lately. Between sentimental commercials, mom-to-be passerby's and what seems like Autumn's speedy growth, I am contemplating the question of baby number two. Since Autumn was born, I have been comfortable with the idea of just the three of us. When I pictured the future, it always just seemed perfect with just us three. Lately, that idea has changed and I am starting to wonder if we should add another Jackson addition. One of the main aspects of my change of heart has been Autumn, she's getting older and her playtime has become more independent. She wanders off alone to her room in a world of imagination and pretend play. She has a baby doll she puts to sleep, dresses and puts in the occasional time-out. When she plays with my younger sister, she is happy, lost in sisterly companionship and guidance, its as if Re and I don't exist. I think she would be an amazing older sister, and it would be something I would love to see. Another factor is my feeling of being needed, sounds weird, but I miss that feeling of Autumn needing me 24/7. Now, I can barely get a cuddle for more than 5 seconds before she's off running or dancing. I know she will always need me, but now I am starting to feel the difference. The baby softness in her skin is still there, but her body is only getting bigger. My baby who used to fit so perfectly under my arm is now half my size, including hair (lol!).

Along with the beneficial reasons of another addition, there are just as many cons, if not more. Having a child should not be taken lightly, a vital decision like this affects the family as a whole, not only presently, but most importantly, the future. There are important aspects of our lifestyle that I don't want to give up. Travel, we love traveling. We want to travel the world. We want to see and conquer different countries, different cultures. I think adding another addition would probably limit that, or perhaps cause a delay in our travel plans, but then again, maybe it won't. 

My sanity. I am somewhat joking when I say that. I know adding another little one will of course be extremely tiresome and what I feel as "tired" now, will only multiply. 

The financial aspects are extremely important. I am a planner, I like to be prepared, especially for the future, for retirement and Autumn's educational future. When I make decisions, I make them based on our future. I think very highly of my daughter, I want to give her the best, and I want her to be able to have choices. I don't want to rely on the government or scholarships for her education, I want to be prepared. I want her to wander the world, seek out opportunities and be able to have that privilege to do so. I never want her to be limited. Having another child, I would want the same for both, but is that realistic? Maybe it is, and maybe it isn't. Financially, as parents, I think its important for both of us to contribute. Although there are a few things I would do differently the second time around, in the end, babies are expensive. But what is money against the creation of a beautiful new life, no contest. 

The prenatal journey is not an issue, its actually something I would look forward to. With Autumn, besides the first 2 or 3 months of sickness, I enjoyed every moment. I loved my belly, I loved my pregnant body, I loved breastfeeding, I loved spending the first 2 years at home with Autumn.

Overall, I think the future is a huge factor, a lot of uncertainty. I think every mother goes through this phase in the decision of adding another baby. I think overall I like the idea of a new addition, but I don't think it is something I truly want. Only time will tell, who knows, my mind may change a few times or more. I am still young, I still have a few goals to accomplish, now is the time to be selfish, achieve my goals and then I can make this life altering decision. Maybe I just need to tell myself to slow down, enjoy life, enjoy love, enjoy Autumn. I am just truly thankful I have options, and as a woman, I have choices, and that is amazing.