Party Planning And The Heartache Of Growth.

I always get emotional this time of the year. May is a celebratory month, but it can be extremely emotional as well. Autumn turns 3 in a matter of days, so along with birthday planning, there are the emotions of how fast our little one is growing up. Each year as her birthday approaches and throughout her process of growth, I reminisce our first moments, I look back to the very beginning. Autumn is molding into her own individuality, her personality blossoms on a daily. People would constantly say to me, "they grow up so fast," and I've started to see the accuracy of that statement. I think back to the day we brought her home, I remember everything from how happy, excited, scared and afraid I was, to how tiny and beautiful she was, and for a little over a year, I had everything she needed. I miss the consecutiveness of nursing, I miss that tingling feeling my body would get, alerting me that she needed me, as I needed her as well. I am not sure if we are going to add to our family, so going back to those early feelings is hard, because I'm not sure if I will get to experience that again. Her independence is blossoming, as she no longer needs me for every minor detail such as putting her shoes on so we could go to the playground, or the fact that she has excelled in using the potty on her own, and as I hear the two words "No Mommy," as I ask if she needs assistance throughout the day. I have enjoyed her second year, challenging at times, but overall we experienced and accomplished a lot: more traveling, moving to Illinois, potty training, and so much more.

I love her. I am so truly, deeply in LOVE. I am so in love with her tiny voice, her adorable face, her teeny body, and many times I find myself asking: how can one person hold so much cuteness, so much beauty? The celebration of another birthday also marks an accomplishment of how far I've come as a mother, how much I have learned and achieved. My patience has improved and Autumn has brought a calmness in my life that I've never had before. We have so much planned for the upcoming week and I am beyond excited!

My current status now, besides party planning: I am currently in the process of starting a new job (YAY!). Within the past 2 weeks, I had to decline an offer twice, as the second time around, the Chief of HR offered more money. The job was temporary and I needed something permanent. I had another  interview last week and two days later, received the call for acceptance and I graciously accepted! I am looking forward to this new experience!