Happy Birthday my dear brother. Every year on January 9th, we are not only reminded of the day you came into this world, but also a reminder of your life; your laughter, your sense of humor, your guidance and influence as an older brother.
My brother Brian left this world at a young age. Coming from a large family, there will always be that missing piece, which is him. Christmas, birthdays, vacations, every moment spent together will never be the same. Each year on his birthday, we always celebrate in his honor, ofcourse there are tears, but I try to view this day as a celebration of his life, and the moments we all had together as a family.
Every year I tell my mom to be strong because I know this day is hard for her. Brian was her first born. I cannot imagine what she goes through, the hardship that comes with this day. As a mom, I cannot even begin to relate or imagine that feeling, and I would never want to; Autumn is my everything. Every year I contemplate the "I wishes." Everything from, I wish he was here. I wish Autumn could have met him, he would adore her. I wish my husband met Brian, I think he would be proud of me. I wish things were different. I wish he could see how amazing his kids are. I wish he could give my mom a long, loving, warm, hug, because she needs it. Because more than anything I know that is what she would want.
As a family, I don't think the hurt or pain will ever go away. I don't think the pain decreases as the years go by, because I can still feel it, fresh. The tears are different, they are endless and the pain is excrutiating in my chest, as if I can't breath. In the end, I'd have it no other way, because that feeling reminds me that I have not and nor will I ever let him go. I am still the little sister Chimmey, still in need of my older brother. There will always be memories, and the creation of new memories in honor of him, Brian.
My family celebrated in Colorado with a balloon and superman celebration.
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